What I’ve Learned
about Life, Random on 01/01/2008 - like it?
Esquire magazine routinely runs a feature called “What I’ve Learned.” A series of quick words of “wisdom” from actors, musicians, and other elitists. Some are useful, some are funny, and most are egotistical. I’ve decided to steal their idea and come up with my own passages of “What I’ve Learned” in the recent history of my 27 years on this planet.
-I used to lose a lot of sleep thinking that I may not be providing for my Family as well as I could be. Then we had a friend of Joshua’s stay with us for the day. I took them all out for Friendly’s for dinner, ice cream, and then a movie. The kid had never eaten out at Friendly’s before. Ever. Joshua has it made in the shade.
-I attended high school with a guy who went on to Harvard for Molecular Biology.. or some shit like that. He now writes and produces episodes of The Simpsons, which is awesome. It’s too bad discovering the double helx can’t get you a star on the walk of fame.
-When Joshua was little, he had an audition for a children’s modeling campaign. The whole drive down to where the audition was, Joshua was excited. When we finally got to the waiting room, he decided that he did not want to go through with it. Sometimes, Kids are allowed to change their minds. You have to allow it. Those crazy stage mothers should have their parenting license revoked.
-Next year I am only sending out Christmas cards to the people who sent me one this year.
-Everyone in this part of New England will, at some point in their lives, own a Subaru Outback. Everyone.
-Celebrity Jeopardy is a fucking joke.
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